i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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