Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
