HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
