It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
