She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Did you pee in the oven last night??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
