I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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