who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
