normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize