You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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