I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
