it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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