let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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