i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
