Only a mothe r could love this liver
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
