Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
