Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
