I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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