I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
