Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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