i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
