Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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