they said they heard you say put it in my butt
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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