there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She bit a glass in half.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
