I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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