Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
