highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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