there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
