I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This is my gift to your gina
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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