Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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