i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
