Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
