Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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