Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
