The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
