Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
