I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
