she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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