you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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