"it" just moved
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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