what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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