yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize