She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
