I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
