the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
