did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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