At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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