guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
this boner is exhausting
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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