hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
