dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
