afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
