My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
