Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
