She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
