What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
