Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
