it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
