i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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