so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
