just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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