The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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