i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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