I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
