He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
