Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
