I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
